周日的午后，Bugis一家有机餐馆里不温不火，就和他们标榜的健康风尚一样清淡。一个靠窗的座位，一边是一位writer；另一边是我，姑且算是个runner吧。我们俩中间的桌子上放着村上春树的《当我谈跑步时我谈些什么》，和两杯咖啡。Write面前是柔软的cappuccino，runner面前是刚烈的esspresso，而书里面那位writer和runner结合体选的是“山姆·亚当斯生啤酒”和“donut”。

这是本有趣的书，writer对里面running部分很有兴趣；而runner对里面writing部分更新奇。毕竟这是本讲runner的书，不过在村上的笔下，又似乎是借running谈自己writing的心得。这倒是很符合东方人内敛的性格，一个艺术家还没有看到生命的尽头就写书讲自己艺术的心路，这似乎有很少的先例。

这是本很薄的书，你不介意拿在手上，有空就翻两页的那种。我匆匆翻第一遍时就知道，This is a book deserving my second visit，因为它用文字把跑步中的感想具体化了。从把跑步像模像样当作自己爱好开始，我跑了7年了，现在基本能做到每次战胜懒虫系上跑鞋带时，就可以不打折扣地跑完一个小时，这个和村上平常是差不多的。不过我没有他那么专一，可以每天跑一个小时。作为专业的writer，running也是他专业的调剂品，而我的爱好太杂了，实在舍不得每天一个小时给跑步。

读完之后的第一感觉竟然是“感激”，感激村上可以帮我们runner把跑步这个单调爱好中的细腻一面表现出来。也许是我经历过，也许是村上的文字确实很到位，那些跑步中稍纵即逝却又无比枯燥的内心波动都变成了文字，从我的眼睛经过大脑，再次刺激到腿部肌肉。于是我决定写几篇拙文，聊聊一点共鸣。其实如果能静下心来，应该一口气写一个长篇，还是不想在文字上太push自己，每次写一点也许可以更加深入一点。就象跑步一样，每次只想着下一个distance mark比较没有负担一点。

What’s Marathon to Me?

村上在书里这样说道（节选），

跑过一趟全程马拉松便会明白，在比赛中胜过或负于某个特定的人，对于跑者来说并不特别重要。……对于普通的市民参与者来说，个人的胜负并不是重大话题。……普通的跑步者中，许多人都事先设定个人目标——这次我要在多少多少时间之内跑完全程——然后再去挑战赛事。……即便未能在预想的时间内跑完全程，只要有了某种类似重大发现的东西，大约也算大功告成吧。换言之，在跑完全程时，能否感到自豪或类似自豪的东西，对于长跑选手而言，可能是最重要的。”

应该很多人听过我要跑马拉松的原因，当我爸还在20左右的时候，和他那个年代绝大多数男生一样，最in的活动就是“串联”了。他曾经花了一天从村子步行80多里地到县城，开始了前往北京的串联之旅。就这么一出，从我懂事开始说到离开家来新加坡，你能想象我心里就有这么一个疙瘩了。

后来发现80里路恰好就是一个全程的距离，作为一个对跑步完全不了解的人，那时的我在网上能查到对马拉松的认识，更多的停留在了spiritual层面上。所以曾经一度以为marathon可以算得上人生一个pinnacle了，跑过去就能把自己的境界提到无比的高峰，有着一览众山小的快感。不过现实是很平淡的，离我第一个马拉松已经快5年了，现在回头再看全程，充其量也就是一个KK或者是虎跳峡之类的，difficult for normal people, but nothing extreme. 而100 marathons club，100 km ultra marathon，half ironman，再到ironman这些才是冈仁波齐和珠穆朗玛那个级别的。那样的艰难度在我今天这个功力看起来与自杀无异，甚至都丝毫不觉得我在靠近。

那马拉松到底是什么？42.195公里，就是这么一个简单的数字，我第一次站在全程的起跑线前时脑子里就认为marathon = 这个数字，跑呗。在那次之前，我只跑过2个半程，不超过10个10公里，马拉松的认识也就是一个字“跑”。当然现实没有给我特别的礼遇，必须从磨难中学会很多很多经验和教训，来克服这5个多小时连续跑动中遇到的原来无法想象的苦难。喝太多的冰水肚子疼，脚发涨显得鞋子挤脚，大腿肌肉酸痛，脚掌发麻，无法预计的脚踝和膝盖刺疼，甚至背心连续摩擦nipple 5个小时都会摩出血来。Just for the sake of completion, I completed a full marathon. 时间将近5个半小时。站在终点，我问自己，满足了吗？回答几乎是毫不犹豫的：没有，应该还能更快一点。

到了第二个马拉松，我懂得了training schedule的重要性，至少要带着42公里的储备才有资格说战胜42公里，而不是经历42公里。而那次击倒我的是29和36公里两次泻肚子，第二次从厕所里出来，感觉身体就完全空了。肚子饿，流虚汗，可是不想吃gel，也不想喝水，甚至连breeze walk的念头都被虚弱的呼吸所掐灭了。现在我明白，其实那时只要一个热乎乎的肉包子，就能很快恢复过来。呵呵，这个学费是没省下来。

当站在第三个马拉松起跑线前时，我又学会了怎么在鞋带上做点小文章就可以保证全程鞋子既跟脚，又不包脚；也知道了“强力泻药”的配方；还有赛前一周的饮食安排。42.195在我的心里broken down into 10、14、21、25、30、32、37、40和42这一组数字了，每看到其中一个distance mark，也就意味着我该做些什么了，有的是身体上，有的是心理上，总之就是要顺利跑出一个sub5。而“顺利”这个词在这里已经定义得很低很低了，留足了buffer，觉着自己口袋里揣着可怜兮兮的40几公里，不能那么快show hands。

就这样每个马拉松都是一个cycle，从报名时（通常是半年前）的踌躇满志，到训练时的枯燥偷懒，到站在起跑线前的悲壮和兴奋，到过了30公里之后的百感交集，到过了38公里时的万念俱灰，到看见42公里mark时的小宇宙爆发，到过终点线时的意犹未尽，到肌肉恢复后的痛定思痛，不知不觉就又是下个马拉松的报名了。就是这么一个和自己折腾的轮回，pay my sweat and time for a strong body and robust mind. That's marathon to me.

二十多年已经逝去，我也跑过了几乎与年数相等的马拉松赛次，可是跑四十二公里后感受到的，与最初那一次相比，似乎没有多大变化。现在依然如故，每次跑马拉松，我大体都会经历相同的心路。跑到三十公里的时候，总觉得“这次没准儿会出好成绩呢”。过了三十五公里，体内的燃料便消耗殆尽，开始对各种食物大为光火。到了最后，则生出“揣着空空如也的汽油箱不停行驶的汽车”般的心情。然后跑完之后少顷，曾经的痛苦、可悲的念头眨眼间忘得一干二净，还下定决心：“下次我要跑得更好！”任凭积累了多少经验，增添了几岁，还是一再重复相同的旧事。

American companies are increasingly outsourcing their IT needs to programmers in other countries. But what if they could get the benefits of outsourcing--cheap labor and long working days--without having to make the trip to Bangalore? If San Diego-based start-up SeaCode has its way, cheap code could be just a ferry ride away. The venture plans to anchor a cruise ship three miles off the coast of Los Angeles, filling it with programmers from around the world. They'll eat, sleep and work onboard, outside the reach of U.S. labor laws.

 What a pity, my company sold the cruise business already... Otherwise, Offshore IT Department! hahaha...

• the lady left the court in the middle of session on Mon;
• the double identities of the Senior Counsel representing SPH;
• there will be a charity show tomorrow night organised by NKF Cancer Fund;

According to my colleagues, NKF Toa Payoh Dialysis Centre had been doodled "big liar!" in both English and Chinese this morning.

A snapshot of comments on this online petition.

Susan Long, SPH and Mr Davinder Singh, kudos to you. NKF's breach of public trust is appalling. Dialysis patients' treatments are not fully subsidised, yet the NKF CEO's personal car is fully paid for by NKF? Members of the NKF Board, where are your hearts and consciences? How could you sanction such abuse of the trust invested by the public in an organisation that purports to help those in need? Mr Davinder Singh, please inquire of Mr Durai the formula on which his bonus is based. Is his bonus a function of the funds raised? Is that what spawned so many other NKF funds - the Cancer Fund, the Children's Fund? I want my money back - my donations were meant to help the needy, not fund Mr Durai's pay and bonuses. A complete ovrehaul is required to restore public trust. Justice must be served - the 2 victims forced to pay defamation damages to Mr Durai should have their monies returned.

 

I am very disappointed. I have been donating $6/mth to NKF even though I am finacially tight. My husband met with an accident in 1999. His income is low due to his condition. I have three kids, of age 15,14 and 8 to support. With my gross salary of S$1,800. I have to support the whole family. Hence, each month about 1 K would have to be withdrawn from our savings. My Father- in- law was diagnosed with kidney failure on Mar 05. NKF have rejected our application for subsidies. Reason being my in- laws family incomes exceed $3500/month(income of his four children). Not considering whether each of his son have how many family members to support. I have also heard many other patients about their application being rejected by NKF. We are only asking for subsidies. Not to be fully covered by NKF. Isn't $3500 is too little, especially for a family of six. Shocked by how much his salary is, and how much they spend on the renovation. No wonder we are being rejected.

 

Mr Goh C T, I wish to know how you feel about your wife giving such comments. It is a great insult to most Singaporeans. I brought a pack of peanuts at $1.05 and still feel expensive. How much do Mrs Goh spent for a meal? Must be more than the price of peanuts, if not how can she be full! She is not skinny.

A quote from my Customer Relationship instructor "Rice can anyhow eat, words cannot anyhow say!".